Results are in!

I had an appointment with my family doctor this morning and she had the results from my biopsy.

My microcalcifications are NOT cancer! They're just trauma from the reconstruction. Talk about a sigh of relief!

Wheeeeeeewwwwwwwwww. To say the least.

Now onto the much more pleasant task of planning our Cuban getaway!

All done!

Just got home from my biopsy, everything went fine. The radiologist numbed me up, then took the samples with a nifty little tool that looked like an ear-piercing gun with a screwdriver bit on the end, attached to a vacuum. It sounds worse than it was, haha. It wasn't painless, per se, but it wasn't terrible. He said that it really just looked like fat necrosis in his opinion, but that the results should be available from pathology within the next few weeks.

Afterwards, my sister and I were shopping when she got a call to tell us some awesome news! Our cousin Nathalie and her husband Shawn found out the sex of their baby who is due to arrive in April! I don't want to be the one to spill the beans, so I won't mention it until everyone knows, but I am so excited for them! I adore babies, especially teeny tiny ones, so I can't wait to meet him/her! Congrats you guys!

Another Ultrasound-Guided Biopsy

Yesterday I went for my annual round of cancer tests; mammogram, ultrasound, chest x-ray and bloodwork. It was the first time my new breast, or as I call it, my '09, was mammogrammed. The radiologist took a look at the first films and asked the technician to do them again, this time with a different view, called a Mag View. Afterwards, I strolled down to the ultrasound table, where a different tech gooped me up and scanned my vital organs, liver, kidneys, spleen, assorted other gray shapes, which all looked fine. The radiologist always comes in afterward to verify everything. After he checked my organs, which looked fine, he spent some time checking my '09. He said everything looked good and sent me on my way. Finally, I went for my crazy amount of bloodwork, (ten vials!) and got to go home.

Today, there was a message on my answering machine from the Hull hospital asking me to call them back to schedule a biopsy. This left me pretty perplexed, since the radiologist didn't mention anything about anything suspicious, much less a biopsy at my appointment, I'm pretty sure I'd remember that. So, I called them back and asked to speak to him myself. To my amazement, they put me through to him and I asked him what was going on. He said that after reviewing my file again, he noticed microcalcifications near the cleavage incision of my '09, and to be on the safe side, he wants to get a biopsy of the tissue to confirm that the calcification is a result of the surgery, and subsequent infection I had at the time. And, if it's something else, then we'll be informed and ready earlier, as opposed to last time. He reminded me what the biopsy procedure was like, but he really didn't need to, it's still one of my more vivid memories.

I trust Dr. Lareau. I credit him with saving my life the first time. He was the only doctor who took my tumor seriously the minute he saw it. Unfortunately, he only got to see it once it was 10 centimeters wide. It's thanks to him that I got my mastectomy so quickly. He always remembers me and my case, and although his bedside manner is sometimes a little curt, he knows what he's doing.

My appointment is on November 24th at 9:45 in Hull. I'm not looking forward to the procedure, but I'm not worried.

Where's that damn wagon?

I fell off the weight-loss wagon, I think it's because Jill's driving it like a bat out of Hell. Way to go, Jill! Now I've got to hop back on. Back to copious amounts of water, daily vitamins, and I am going to drag my wagon-less arse to yoga on Wednesday, maybe the wagon will be parked outside the Women's Institute....

On a different note, I'm organizing another trip to CUBA!!! A group of about 14 of us is going, and we should have a hotel picked out by the end of the week. I can't wait!

Tuesday Weigh-In

Gained a pound. Not surprised, since I made some really bad food decisions this week, still pissed at myself, though. :(

Geocaching

Friday night, I was Pinteresting when I came across this pin:

http://pinterest.com/pin/125403304/

Geocaching is a real-world outdoor treasure hunting game that gets you off the computer and out into the great unknown where you locate hidden containers (called geocaches) using nothing more than a GPS-enabled device and a lot of enthusiasm. Once you find the geocache, the objects in it are yours to keep (if you want) but you are expected to replace the items you take with other items of equal or greater worth for the next seeker and then record your experiences in the online geocaching journal so that others can take part and learn from your experience.

I thought it sounded pretty cool, so I checked out the website www.geocaching.com

Random treasures buried all over the world, thousands within a 100 miles of here, eh? I'm in. 

I couldn't get to sleep, I was that excited. The next morning, I kidnapped my mom and sister (and their GPS-equipped smartphones) and set off to find geocaches in Otter Lake. We downloaded the app, selected a particular geocache and followed my mom's iPhone down a gravel road and stopped when we heard the iPhone tell us that we were within 5 meters of the waypoint (the coordinates of the geocache). We looked around the secluded area and stumbled upon THIS!

Hidden under a few branches was an army ammo container full of goodies!

Here's what was inside:

A log book, which I signed, coins, army patches, keychains, Pokemon cards... I took a keychain and left 2 Pandora beads in trade.

It was really nice to get outside, drive around and discover roads I'd never been on and places in my own backyard that I'd never seen. But it's the idea that we could find this box, in the middle of nowhere, based on a few coordinates is what really got me hooked. Over the next 2 days we found 5 caches, all in Otter Lake.

According to the website, there's a geocache in Quyon on Clarendon, one at the Luskville ball park, and quite a few in the Gatineau Park near our house. I can't wait to go find them!

But now, I'm on my own, I have a not-so-smart phone, and can't get one until December 2012.... boo. So, I need a proper GPS. I've been scouring Kijiji and Used Ottawa to try to find one that can be used for geocaching so I can set out again, maybe in an even bigger group next time!

Tuesday Weigh-In

So I got to thinking that maybe people don't really care if and how much weight I lose each week. Like when people post random status updates on Facebook. "Making macaroni for supper" or "is bored". Maybe I should just say that "things are going well" or "had another good week" or the like.

So that got me thinking, "Do I care what people think?"

Nope. I don't. I'm happy for myself and am sharing it here.

Lost another 3 pounds this week! Down a total of 17.

Making macaroni for supper.

Tuesday Weigh-In

Lost another 2 and a half. Down 14 total. Yay me! Sticker time!

But...

Yesterday I craved bacon. Some folks crave chocolate and chips. I'm bacon all the way. I tried eating "healthy" snacks, drinking lots of water, keeping myself busy, but despite my efforts, all I wanted was a f*cking plate of bacon. So I had one. It was glorious. Glorious, I tell ya. Immediately afterward, I felt terrible, guilty and bloated. Whatever. Sometimes, you just have to eat what you crave.

Storyland

Happy Thursday all,

Today, Mom and I took the boys to Storyland. I remember my own mom and grandmother taking my sister and I when we were young. And it really hasn't changed much. 

The lookout is still my favorite spot. 

Maybe it's a boy thing, maybe it's poor parenting, but they ran and yelled like maniacs from one exhibit to the next. Everything was full-speed, full-volume. I gave up worrying about what other families were thinking halfway through. Perhaps my memory is selective, but I don't think my sister and I were quite so thunderous. The walk was great, aside from when my mom saw a snake, screamed, and became frozen in place for about a full minute after the snake was gone. 

Mom the snake charmer packed the lunch, it was pretty killer. She even had placemats for God's sake. The boys finished off the visit playing on the waterslide until William almost broke his brother's nose whilst sliding down the water slide. Again, something my sister and I never did.... but I digress. 

Sadly, I think this may be our last visit, the park has seen better days and unfortunately I just didn't feel like some of the play structures were very safe: broken springs, lots of rust, just run-down. We really enjoyed our day but I think we'll try someplace new next year.

Lots of hungry baby goats.

Hanging by the shroom.

Mom and the boys 

Tuesday Weigh-in

Stayed the same this week. Boo.

Tuesday Weigh-In

Down three more pounds.... :)

Tuesday Weigh-In

Down 2 more pounds... :)

Tuesday Weigh-In

A few months ago, I had the notion that I could get myself back to a healthy weight on my own... Yeah... not so much.... You see, after William was born, I had about 35 pounds to shed, and I did it with WW. I looked good, maybe too good, since I promptly got preggo again. After Tom was born I had about 45 pounds to shed, but (HERE COME THE EXCUSES) when I was in chemo, I actually GAINED 30 pounds. They actually took me off the nausea meds because I was gaining weight so fast. If it was edible, I craved it. We're talking, like 30 pounds in 2 months, here.

Last week I'd finally had enough and I re-joined Weight Watchers and today was my first weekly weigh-in..... After a week of watching, recording and rationalizing..... I lost 6 and a half pounds! That's about the same weight as a two litre bottle of pop! Yay me! I even got a little sticker! I know it's only 6 pounds, but I'm over the moon right now. I have a long way to go, but not as long as last week!

Paintball & Pedicures

Last Friday, a group of us "surprised" one of our good friends, Brenda, with a paintball excursion to celebrate her hmmmmm-phhhhh-fortieth-hmmmmummm birthday. Brenda is one of the most generous and thoughtful people I know. I'm not sure if she actually has the ability to say 'no' to someone in need. She's either helping one of her kids with a school or sport, giving someone a ride somewhere, picking someone or something up for someone, organizing a party or an event, volunteering her time... you get the idea. She's a great friend and a wonderful mom.

Brenda wasn't feeling the best, but being the trooper that she is, geared up anyway.

Very gung-ho of me

A lot of us hadn't paintballed before, but after a very enlightening briefing session, we steeled ourselves and set out to conquer the battlefield.

Ok, I grew up with one younger sister in the city and went to an all-girl catholic school. Consequently (and  possibly stereotypically), I hadn't really ever played any kind of war games or anything with any kind of guns, or covert teams, or hand signals, etc, so I wasn't sure if I'd get that combat instinct, but when you start hearing the paintballs flying and you're running for cover, it definitely kicks in. It was a lot of fun, and a great workout. A few of us ended up with some very impressive bruises as souvenirs. By the time we had played all our games, had our lunch and turned in our gear, almost 5 hours had passed! What a great new adventure! I'm so glad I tried it.

Two days later, I had an appointment for a mani-pedi. It's important to note that my mother is an esthetician, and I STILL had to book an appointment! We have a family wedding on Friday and the only time she could fit me in was 5 days before, so I better be careful not to chip anything...

And THIS is what you get when you mix paintball and pampering...

My hanging basket is now an incubator

Ikea Movies

Seasons in Canada

Boo

I owe federal a total of $5600, booooooo

Tax Time

Holy crap, I've broken even on my Quebec income taxes!!!

This is a momentous occasion.

Rock Bottom - The Best Place for a Ladder

I started writing this from the bathtub, in the middle of a gallstone attack. The Oxy finally starting to kick in. So keeping the possible drug-induced slant this post might have in mind...

I am very grateful for everything in my life. From my blessings to my burdens. But despite my gratitude, I am also quite unhappy with a few aspects of myself. I have let my health spiral completely out of control. I am the heaviest I have ever been. I am chronically tired and I don't feel good about how I look. I fought so hard to get the chance to be here, had surgeries to get back the breast I lost, and I am throwing it all away. 

This is not me. I am not this person. 

I stay away from crowds because of my size. I am depriving myself of living life, the very thing I struggled so hard for. The thing I prayed for. The thing I was insanely lucky to get. I am so embarrassed and ashamed. 

So now that I am done whining about it, there's nothing left to do but change. Little things at first, this week, I am committing to drinking 8 glasses of water a day. And even though this will be the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, I am going to post my weight every Friday. Although no one reads this, it's a bit of accountability for me, and maybe what I need to keep myself in line. 

In 2005, I lost 35 pounds with Weight Watchers, it really worked for me at the time, but now I really want to make a permanent change to my life, something I'll be proud to teach my sons. 

I do have a plan for the coming months, every week I'll be adding a new element to my new lifestyle. Baby steps.

So BANG! We're off!

Week 0 - 29.04.2011

Wow, I knew it was bad, but this is scary. So according to Health Canada, my BMI is 36.2, which puts me in Obese Class 2, with a very high risk of developing health problems.

I can't bring myself to take a picture of my actual body... so here's my body, according to My Virtual Model, 

I actually own this exact swimsuit, in this exact color.

      I am mortified but also very motivated. 

Here's to Week 1!

Just a Thought

Wheeee

Skating & Sugar Bushing

Yesterday was the daycare's annual skating and sugar bush day. The weather was amazing! I remember when we took William to his last one and he could barely skate! What a tough day on the back! This year, Tom has been playing hockey since September, and could skate around like a pro. So much easier!

So proud that he was one of only a few kids who could skate easily

T and his buddy B

After skating their little bums off, we went on to the Sugar Bush. We had an amazing buffet, one of the dads even played accordion and guitar while the kids were all eating. Afterward, we all went outside to explore and eat taffee on the snow....hmmmmm.....

It makes me so sad to think that our time with the daycare is almost over. They've been so amazing with the  kids, and understanding with everything that's gone on over the last (almost) 4 years.

Is it Spring Yet?

Hello?

Ha!

From MAHG to NHL

Today was the last Saturday the boys had hockey for the season. I'm a little sad that it's over, but it will be nice to be able to sleep in on the weekend. 

Tom and Jim on the ice in Shawville

Speaking of hockey, a few weeks ago, we were invited to a Family Skate for the Ottawa Food Bank at Scotiabank Place. It was pretty awesome to see the kids on such big ice and in such a big arena. We all enjoyed the night.  

In the Visitor's dressing room

Skating on NHL ice

With Spartacat, the Senators mascot

After the kids were finished, the dads got a chance to play. They looked to be as excited as the kids were.

Jim's first time playing at Scotiabank place.

I Love my Kindle

So, I've always loved to read, and last year when I splurged and bought myself a Kindle, I was determined to "make it pay for itself". It has. I've read over 50 books in 9 months, and stuff I never would have glanced at before, too. I've read a ton of Canadian stuff as well as some biographies. Who knew Patrick Swayze was that interesting? My Kindle came with us to Cuba, the cottage, the bathtub and it lives on my nightstand. I love my Kindle!